mmcjawa (mmcjawa) wrote,

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yep, it's a two post night

Don't be shocked.

Anyway...Today has been a very introspective day for me. Possibly because half the reason I am visiting U of M is because it's a potential phd program to apply to in the fall. And a PHD program equals major life changes.

Which...I got to say have been few in my life recently. Yeah, I have progressed on my MS, done some data collection, and presented at a conference. But really those have all been academic accomplishments. Physically and mentally I unfortunately haven't changed all that much in the last year.

First, I haven't made any inroads on my weight loss. No reduction in food, and my chocolate boycott went off the rails about 2 weeks ago. While I have kept myself at least a little more active by walking more and keeping up with my birding, I am still major out of shape.

Secondly, in my personal life, yep, no change. Every week is pretty much the same. Mind you, I have some terrific friends who I have a blast with, but it would be nice to find that special someone who could be "more then a friend". However, the females I hang out with and see for the most part are happily in relationships, or I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. My social circle in San Diego is very very small. And my social awkwardness, social anxiety, shyness, and overall weirdness just doesn't help. I just really don't know where to go and meet new people. The internet has so far proven worthless in that regard, my type of person is not going to be found in a bar, and my social circle is too small. So I guess I am stalled in that regard. And I feel that the longer I am stalled, the harder it will be. Every year make me more and more socially stunted compared to my peers, and what women really wants to take on that much work?

Anyway, I guess I shouldn't ramble anymore, and go and read some fiction before going to bed. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
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